


if you remember who they are

by lyfthemuffinmoth



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Alternate Universe - Benzaiten Steel Lives, Amnesia, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Everyone gets angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Character Undeath, Not Canon Compliant, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Temporary Amnesia, You Get Angst, and you get angst, and you get angst!, ballet heist baybe, but actually i just try too hard, but kabert would never give us this, canon compliant in my heart, ehhh, ft me thinking im really clever with aliases, gently pats nureyev and ben on the head, gently shoves my benmick agenda in your face, i actually made a full outline for this are you proud of me, probably, these babies can fit so much projection, would you look at me being back on my bullshit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-23 14:20:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30056790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyfthemuffinmoth/pseuds/lyfthemuffinmoth
Summary: “Benten, you know me, come on.”The other scoffed. “Do I?”Juno stopped dead in his tracks.“...What?”“I have no fucking clue who you are.”-The Aurinko Crime family goes to a ballet for heist and find a little more than they bargained for.
Relationships: Benzaiten Steel & Everyone, Benzaiten Steel & Juno Steel, Buddy Aurinko/Vespa Ilkay, Mick Mercury/Benzaiten Steel, Peter Nureyev & Benzaiten Steel, Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel, Rita & Benzaiten Steel, Rita & Jet Sikuliaq
Comments: 19
Kudos: 55





	1. why back away? (this time i'll stay)

**Author's Note:**

> hi!!! tysm for clicking on this funky fic
> 
> title is from call them brothers by regina spektor
> 
> content warnings are in the end notes!!

Things had gotten less formal on the Carte Blanche a long time ago evident by how at ease everyone was. They truly saw they ship as their home, its people as their family. 

Today was a day just like any other, breakfast accompanied by one of Buddy's briefings about the newest heist. 

“So.” Buddy started. She took a breath and turned her attention to the rest of the Crew. “For our next heist, we are visiting a theatre on Venus. One of the ballet dancers there owns a necklace that we need to get our hands on.” She took a brief sip of water before continuing. 

“Juno, Pete, you two will sneak into the dancer’s dressing room while Vespa and I stay in the theatre to keep an eye out. Rita will also keep an eye out for you over security cameras while Jet stays outside to serve as our getaway chauffeur. Any questions?”

There was a pause as the other five swallowed the bites of their food and thought over the plan. Buddy simply grinned. 

“Wonderful. Time to get ready, then.”

* * *

Peter Nureyev was very much not ready. His makeup was quite frankly sloppy and his character was nowhere close to being on point. And on top of all of that, Rita hadn’t gotten him the schematics of the theatre and its back rooms yet, so he hadn’t had time to commit them to memory yet. 

He  _ had  _ been studying their mark though. Rita hadn’t been able to get any pictures but his name was Anahita Hylmen-Green and he had been in the main theatres for a few years now, having his first major break about five years ago. The necklace they were after not only had some very expensive diamonds on them, they also contained a piece of rare tech that Rita needed to code into the security of their next big mark. 

The necklace itself was a long golden cord with one single charm hanging on it, a blue amulet, studded with diamonds, very expensive ones at that. The chip for the coding was hidden inside the amulet and Nureyev was honestly curious if the dancer himself knew about the tech, though he doubted it. From what he had gathered like the person to collect advanced techs like that, so it was likely that the man had just bought it unaware of the code, or had received it as a gift.

Nureyev was startled out of his thoughts by a knock on his door, accompanied with a “Knock knock.” as the door opened and in stepped Juno Steel.

The lady looked stunning, though he always looked stunning in Nureyev’s opinion. He was wearing a golden gown that hugged his figure, the light falling on it making it glitter a little, but not too much. A thin layer of golden eyeshadow rested on his eyelids, accompanied by a dark black lipstick, Juno grinned, those black lips parting to show his teeth.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

Nureyev chuckled, putting his pen down. “Not at all, dear.” He got up and moved over to Juno, giving him a quick kiss before leaning back to look at him again.

“You look gorgeous, love.”

Juno blushed and Nureyev chuckled. He sat down on his bed and was swiftly joined by Juno, who leaned against him slightly. 

“I don't like ballet.” Juno commented.

Nureyev raised an eyebrow. “Really? It's quite beautiful in my opinion. The way their movements express their emotions so gracefully.”

Juno playfully batted his arm. “Dork.” he said fondly, causing Nureyev's face to heat up in turn.

Juno sighed, Continuing. “I just- Bad memories, I guess. No- No that's not right. Not, not bad memories, not the memories themself. I- I guess it's sort of a bittersweet nostalgia. Reminding me of happy times with someone who's no longer there.”

Nureyev sighed and put his arm around Juno, pressing a kiss on top of his head. “Tell me if it becomes too much, alright? We can take a break.”

Juno made a faint noise of agreement, letting his head rest on Nureyev's shoulder.

Nureyev chuckled again, but smiled, a bit more relaxed now. Juno seemed to have relaxed, which always calmed him down. Although... There was a lot about Juno that calmed him down these days. 

Nureyev sat up a little straighter and stood up. Juno slumped to the side, to the space where Nureyev had just been sitting. He grunted a little and Nureyev chuckled. 

“Come on, love. We better get going before we’re late.”

Juno sighed and sat up, taking the hand Nureyev held out for him. He glared playfully up at the other. His high heels would’ve made him just as tall as Nureyev, if it hadn’t been for Nureyev’s own heels, although his weren’t half as tall as Juno’s. 

The two of them walked into the living room, where the rest waited for them.

Buddy was wearing a beautiful purple gown, just as shiny as Juno’s. Her hair was pinned in front of her eye per usual and and her lips were coated in a see-through lip gloss.

Vespa was wearing a simple pair of loose black trousers, accompanied with a white button up and black suit jacket. She wasn’t wearing any makeup other than small hints of blush on her cheeks, and a single long earring dangled from her right ear. She seemed a little uncomfortable.

The two women were sitting on the couch, Vespa leaning against Buddy and Buddy with her arm around Vespa.

Buddy perked up upon seeing them enter. “Ah, darlings, right on time.”

She glanced outside for a second. “I believe we’re about to land, it’s nice to see you both ready.”

Nureyev didn’t feel quite ready, but he simply put on a plaster smile. Juno seemed to sense his insecurities, observant as always. He gently squeezed Nureyev’s hand and gave him a reassuring smile.

Both of them then immediately let the other’s hand go as they landed, in favour of grabbing something to hold onto.

Buddy chuckled. “Maybe you should sit down next time, darlings.” she said. She stood up and held out her hand to Vespa, who took it and in turn got to her feet with a small jingle of her earring.

Juno rolled his eyes fondly and took a step towards the exit of the ship before turning on his heels and holding out his hand to Nureyev. 

“Care to join me, Ransom? I hear that ballet is very emotionally graceful this time of year~”

Nureyev shot him a playful glare and took his hand.

“Why don’t you go ahead and show me then?”

* * *

Juno had been tense all night. He liked ballet, sure, but he really didn’t need a reminder of a loss for this long, a pang of grief everytime he turned his eyes to the stage.

So, when he heard Rita in his comms, he couldn’t help but release some of the tension that was building up in his shoulders. He stood up from his seat and Nureyev followed swiftly. 

Once they were out of the audience, they patiently leaned back against a door, waiting for Rita to hack into the lock, before slipping backstage.

Juno took a breath and looked around, following the directions Rita was giving them through their comms to get them to Anahita’s dressing room, where the necklace was most likely being kept.

“Alright, Boss, according to the schematics, the door should be in front of you, but there’s comms blockers and no cameras in there so I can’t help ya further.”

Juno made a noise of acknowledgement and then, in they went. 

The dressing room was empty, no people inside. Juno stayed near the door, keeping watch, while Nureyev looked around for the necklace.

After opening quite a few drawers and boxes, he found it. He picked it up with a grin on his face. “Got it.” he muttered to let Juno know.

Then they started hearing voices. Both thieves exchanged a panicked glance and after a moment of hesitation, Nureyev slipped the necklace into his suit pocket and both of them slipped into the bathroom that was attached to the dressing room.

The sound of soft slippers on the floor entered the room, accompanied with a small click of heels. 

“Ana, darling, just this once?”

Another voice, presumably Anahita, sighed.

“No is no, James, just leave me alone.”

There were some more footsteps, then the sound of an elastic band snapping. A small hiss escaped Anahita. “Damn ballet shoes-” he muttered.

“Here, let me help you with that.”

“I’ve got it thanks.”

“Are you sure, darling?”

“Yes, I’m s- don’t touch me.”

“I’m just trying to help y-”

“I said, don’t touch me!”

The sound of someone being punched echoed, a sound Nureyev was all too familiar with. 

“Shouldn’t have done that, Ana.” James spoke, his voice slightly nasal. Nureyev truly hoped the man’s nose was broken. 

“Shouldn’t have touched me.” Anahita countered snarkily.

Suddenly, there was something slammed into the bathroom door and Nureyev flinched away from it, startled by the loud bang. Juno did the same.

“This is my theatre. My rules, little dancer. I know you’re new here, but if I want something, I get it.”

The pressure on the door was relieved and Anahita started coughing, then panting shakily.

“My office, eleven tonight. Don’t be late~”

The door slammed and Ana’s panting slowly broke off into hiccupy sobs.

Nureyev bit his lip, very much feeling like he was intruding. He turned his attention to Juno, who had completely frozen up. Nureyev furrowed his brow and slowly rested his hand on Juno’s shoulder. ‘Love?’ he mouthed. 

Juno’s panicked eyes met Nureyev’s and the lady wiped at his own with a quiet sigh. He glanced back to the door and slowly started shaking. Nureyev’s eyes widened and he pulled Juno close, not sure what was upsetting him so much. 

When Juno leaned into him however, his foot slipped and he crashed into Nureyev, who then hit his head on the wall with a bang.

The crying on the other end of the door came to a sudden stop. Juno and Nureyev swiftly moved to stand on either side of the door, their backs pressed up against the wall. 

The door creaked open and Anahita peaked inside. “Hello?” he questioned, his voice hoarse. He stepped inside, rubbing his throat, and Nureyev froze.

Anahita Hylmen-Green was the spitting image of Juno Steel. His eyes were the same dark brown. his face had the same round shape and his shoulders were just as broad. The differences were that Anahita had a hairstyle different from Juno’s. Shaven up on one side, falling past his face on the other side, dyed a vibrant purple. He was wearing a loose pastel blue top and black legging, his feet bare beneath them. 

He spotted Nureyev first. His eyes widened and he stumbled back, startled. Nureyev exchanged a glance with Juno before waking after him, hands raised in a sign of surrender. “I’m not here to hurt you.” he said calmly Ana didn’t seem too convinced and swung a nearby water bottle at the other, which he dodged easily.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“And I want you to  _ leave _ .” Ana countered raspily.

“Alright, alright, I’m going.” Nureyev took a few steps back towards the exit.

Right then, Juno stepped out of the bathroom and Ana froze.

He opened his mouth to speak, when Juno spoke up.

“Ben?”

Ana froze up even more at that, backing up. 

“I-”

“Benten, is that really you?”

Anahita took another step back, his back hitting the wall. 

“How do you…” Ana shook his head. “No. Nevermind. Get out.”

“But I-”

“Look, I don’t know how you got my name or someone who looks exactly like me, but I frankly have had enough bullshit for one day. Just go before I call security.”

“Benten, you know me, come on.”

Ana (Benten?) scoffed. “Do I?”

Juno stopped dead in his tracks. 

“...What?”

“I have no fucking clue who you are.”


	2. but i'm down here with scars (i'm down here with scars)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *kicks in door* consistant uploading schedule? dont know her. all i know is post shit immediately when its finished bc i am in need of serotinin eat hot chip and lie
> 
> chapter title from a terrible ride from lizard boy
> 
> content warning are in the end notes as always!!

Anahita Hylmen-Green was decidedly not having a good day. He looked back to the two intruders in front of him, biting his lip.

“Ben-” his lookalike started. 

Ana flinched. “Don’t- Don’t call me that-”

“But it’s your  _ name _ .”

“It  _ was _ my name. Just call me Ana if you want to call me anything.”

“Juno…” the one by the door started.

“Why are you lying?” The other, likely Juno, started.

Ana furrowed his brow. “What do you mean? I’m not lying, I have no clue who either of you are.”

“I-” Juno paused and wiped at his wet eyes. “I’m your _brother,_ Ben.”

Ana’s eyes widened and he looked back at the both of them. “I- What? No-No, they said- They said I didn’t have any family.”

The other furrowed his brow. “What do you mean? Who told you that?”

“I-” Ana took a deep breath. “When I was nineteen, I got shot. I woke up on Venus. I was fine besides a scar, but I don’t remember anything that happened before that.”

Juno bit his lip. “You really don’t remember any of it?”

Ana shook his head. “No, I don’t. Just my name.”

“What if you came with us?”

Both twins froze, turning to the other person in the room.

“Ransom-” Juno started, cut off by Ana scoffing. “Come with the two criminals I just caught hiding in my bathroom?”

Ransom kept his attention in Juno. “Juno, he’s your  _ family. _ ”

“He doesn’t even remember me.”

Ana bit his lip, leaning back a little. “Where does coming with you get me, exactly?”

Ransom’s eyes lit up and he grinned. “Spaceship. You could fly out of this hellhole just like that.” he snapped his fingers to punctuate his point.

Ana hesitated. “I- If you can show me some sort of- of proof that you knew me before, I’ll come with you.”

Juno dug out his comms and went through it a few times before holding it out to Ana, a holographic picture of the two of them together with two other people ANa didn’t recognize.

All four of them looked to be about sixteen and they were all smiling brightly. Ana and Juno were sitting in the middle, side by side. On Ana’s left there was a man with long black hair and dark skin, his arm around Ana’s waist. On Juno’s right there was a woman with pale skin and black hair, reaching to about her chin. A pair of round glasses rested on the bridge of her nose. Juno had a bandaid over his nose, where there was now a pale scar. And Ana… He looked happy. Really happy. He had the same hairstyle as he did now, though the younger Ana had his hair dyed in a vibrant blue, as opposed to the purple that his hair was now. He had a split lip, but didn’t seem bothered as he leaned into the man with the long hair.

Ana paused, then nodded. He glanced back to the two strangers in the picture.

“Were we friends? Us and them?”

Juno smiled, though it looked to be a tad bittersweet.

“Yeah… Yeah, we were the best of friends.”

“What happened?”

Juno opened his mouth to answer when alarms started blaring. Both intruders looked to Ana. “Are you coming?”

Ana took a deep breath before walking out of the door after them. The two looked around for the best way out and Ana took a deep breath. “I know a shortcut, come on.”

He led them towards the stage, then took a turn in the wings until they reached the backdoor, where they saw James. 

Fuck.

Ana stopped, causing the two following him to stop as well.

“Ana? Leaving so soon, darling?”

Ana glared at him defiantly, trying not to smirk at how swollen his nose was. He noticed Juno tense up at the sound of James’s voice.

Ransom seemed to catch on as well. “Juno-” he started, but by the time he finished, Juno had already kicked the man in his stomach before kicking his feet from under him. The lady grinned. “Act like an asshole, be treated like one.” he commented before turning back to face Ana. “Lead the way.”

Ana was a bit flabbergasted, but continued his way to the back exit before finally stepping outside. He sighed and leaned back against the wall, acutely aware of his lack of footwear.

Juno took out his comms and called someone.

“Hey, Rita ... Yeah, we’re outside ... We’ve eh- We’ve got an extra person with us ... I know, I know, I’ll explain everything later ... Yeah ... Yeah, I know.” He rolled his eyes fondly. “Yes, we love you too, Rita ... Alright, we’ll see you there.”

Juno put his comms away and shot a small glare at Ransom, who was now grinning.

“Well then? Lead the way, my love.”

Juno moved towards a port in the more sinister part of town, where a woman with fire-y red hair and a woman with spiky green hair were waiting for them. 

The redhead raised an eyebrow upon seeing Ana. She turned to Juno. “I wasn’t aware you had a twin, darling.” she commented. Juno couldn’t help but flinch.

Ana sighed. “I’m right here, y’know.” He hated how raspy his voice still sounded. 

The woman frowned. “My my, darling, you sound like you’ve had quite the evening. I do hope they didn’t make too much trouble for you.”

Ransom made an offended noise. “We did  _ not _ do that-” he protested.

Ana sighed. “It’s fine.” he said. “Shitty boss, I suppose.”

Buddy looked faintly upset by that. “I’m afraid I didn’t quite catch your name, darling.”

Ana crossed his arms. “I didn’t throw it.”

She laughed. “Oh you must think you’re very funny, don’t you?”

Ana sighed. “Fine. It’s Ana. Anahita if you want to be formal.”

The woman with the green hair looked at Juno, seemingly angry. “You brought our mark  _ with you? _ What the hell, Steel?”

“That certainly is one way to avoid witnesses.” the redhead commented, clearly amused.

Ana frowned. “Your ‘mark’? What does that even mean?”

“It means, darling, that if your two new friends value their jobs they stole a very special necklace of yours.”

Ransom took the necklace out of his pocket and tossed it to the redhead, who caught it with ease.

Ana scowled. “That’s just rude.” he said, offended.

“No shit.” Juno deadpanned, which caused a snicker from Ransom.

The redhead sighed. “This is all very interesting, but I’m sure we can continue this conversation inside, hm?”

She entered the ship and after a small moment of hesitation, Ana followed. What was the worst that could happen? No. Stop. Don’t think about that.

The women sat down on the couch in the living room area, in which there were already two people. A short woman dressed in bright colors and a man with broad shoulders, a small braid hanging over one of them. The woman’s eyes widened when she saw him.

“Boss… Is that…?”

“Yup.” Juno said. He looked lost on how to feel.

Ana gave the woman an awkward smile. She tilted her head and frowned. “Mistah Steel, is he alright?”

The redhead turned to Juno. “I must admit, I am also quite curious on how this all happened.”

Juno sighed, putting a self-deprecating smile on.

“Everyone, meet my twin brother Benzaiten. He has been legally dead for twenty five years and he does not remember anything from before he was shot.”

Juno looked just about ready to fall apart at any second.

The short woman frowned. “He doesn’t remember what happened?”

Ana sighed. “Afraid not. Doctors said it was an extreme trauma response, but I don’t even remember how and why I got shot.”

“I do.” Juno muttered.   
  
Ana turned to him. “You do?” Juno nodded. “Would you tell me?”

Juno shook his head. “Later. Not here.”

Ana nodded. “Alright.” He looked back to the rest. “So eh… Who are all of you then?”

The short woman practically jumped up at the question. “I’m Rita!” she said, almost like it was a battle cry.

The man beside her gave Ana a soft nod. “Jet Sikuliaq.”

The short haired woman was still kind of on guard, but she muttered out a quick “Vespa Ilkay.”

The thief Juno had been with, smiled at him. “Peter Ransom.”

The redhead gave him a gentle smile. “And I am Buddy Aurinko.”

Ana sighed. “Alright. I’d say it’s good to meet you but this whole night has been quite frankly a mess and apparently I know two of you already anyways.”

He took a deep breath and leaned back against the table behind him. “This is- This is a lot.”

“That’s understandable, darling, do you need some space?”

“I-”

“Ben can take my room.” Juno commented. “I’ve been staying in Ransom’s a lot anyways.”

“Well, that’s settled then.” Buddy said. “Juno, please show our guest to his new room. Rita, you come help me with this necklace.”

“Got it.” Juno muttered. He turned back to look at Ana for a second, before averting his eyes. “Follow me, I guess.”

Ana walked after him with a sigh, biting his lip. He felt like he should say something, but he had no clue what. Nothing he could say could make this better, could it? He’d just gotten his family back, but he couldn’t even remember them. Had that much bad stuff really happened? 

Juno opened the door for him and let him in. The dancer took a seat on the bed and sighed. 

The both of them fell into an uncomfortable silence. 

“I'm  _ so _ sorry.” Ana muttered.

Juno frowned at that. “What do you mean? What for?”

“I mean- You thought I died for decades, you  _ mourned _ me, and I don't even have the decency to  _ remember  _ you.” 

“Ben, it's not your fault-”

Ana bit his lip, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

“Isn’t it?” The other said in a choked whisper. “I mean, hell, I’ve struggled with my memory for a long time. Tried every therapy, medicine, every supposed cure I could get my hands on and it didn’t  _ work. _ None of it did. I- That can’t be about the cures itself, can it? Something is wrong with  _ me _ , otherwise they would’ve  _ worked _ .”

He stared down at his lap, his hand fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “I just-” he took a shaky breath. “I  _ hate _ this. I feel so- so  _ helpless _ and it’s  _ awful _ .”

Ana wiped at his eyes, falling quiet. He still didn’t look up to meet Juno’s eyes.

Juno cleared his throat, his voice clearly trembling a little. “I- This isn’t your fault. Alright? I promise. It’s S- It’s the fault of the person who hurt you.”

Ana dared to look up at Juno. The lady looked maybe just as hurt as Ana did. Juno hesitated. 

“Can I-”

Ana nodded and practically melted against Juno when the lady wrapped his arms around Ana. They sat there for a while. 

“Thank you.” Ana muttered.

“For what?” Juno questioned.

“All of this? Listening to me, taking me out of this place, standing up to that  _ asshole _ -”

Juno chuckled a little. “To be fair, he really had it coming.”

Ben smiled slightly, leaning into him. “Yeah. Yeah, I suppose he did, didn’t he?”

Juno sat up a little straighter. “Yeah. Hey, speaking of him, you should probably get your throat checked out. I can ask Vespa if she can take a look in a second.”

Ana frowned. “The angry lady? She’s your medic?”

Juno chuckled. “She’s really not as angry as she seems.”

“Alright.”

“Alright?”

“Lead the way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warnings: amnesia, mentions of workplace sexual harrasment, grief, mentions of attempted murder, guilt, self-blame, injury, mentions of hospitalisation and failed remedies (lemme know if i missed any!!)
> 
> hi!! i just wanna say thank yall for the nice comments they were all very sweet and made me very happy  
> feel free to leave some more and ill see yall at the next one!!

**Author's Note:**

> content warnings: insecurity, grief, workplace sexual harrasment, violence, panic attacks, amnesia, fear, choking (implied), injury
> 
> chapter title is from sigyn by the mechanisms
> 
> ben's alias comes from two things!! anahita is the persian goddess of wisdom, like benzaiten is the japanese goddess of wisdom and the hylmen-green comes from hg being the elemental abbreviation for mercury
> 
> hi!! thanks a bunch for reading!! please leave me some comments and kudos they are greatly appreciated.


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